I believe I am the antichrist. I also believe that no matter how loud I yell or who I tell, I will be ignored regarding that. Perhaps, such is what I deserve. I’ve tried to explain the situation to friends and family, but they don’t believe me. Maybe I should have said more or done more. I posted on my Facebook page and on this site, if I remember correctly, that I thought Barack Obama was Satan. Maybe I should have headed down to the White House with a sign in protest accusing Barack Obama of being Satan … but I imagine that would not end well. I would be laughed at or ignored or, depending upon how wacky I was being at the time, wind up in prison or committed to a mental hospital. I’ve been diagnosed as having schizoaffective disorder, but I don’t believe that diagnosis. The universe is Satan in all his horrid glory. I firmly believe that. I also believe that President Barack Obama is the … avatar of that greater reality. He’s like an appendage of pure evil. Yes, he’s evil. Through and through. He’s set up the United States for Donald Trump to win the presidency. And Donald Trump will destroy this country. I don’t know how, but I am convinced of it. And I don’t know what to do.
I’ve considered quite seriously using my writing skills to serve my cause. This blog, for example, was sprung from that desire, although there was also an aspect of pure questioning and discovery regarding God, Life, and similar issues. I’ve also considered writing a few books dealing with the issues that plague me. One was going to be entitled “Satan” and be an analysis and presentation of all I think that Satan’s done. I also was going to write a trilogy with book I about Jesus, book III about the antichrist, and book II about the intervening centuries. But I doubt they will be received any better than my first book, “Delusions of Grandeur,” which dealt with my situation and considered it as a mental illness. As of today, I’ve only sold about twenty copies total, if that, and most of those were to people I know. Financially, I would probably be better off just staying a fantasy writer—which isn’t saying much.
For a while, I went back and forth between believing my situation was the result of a mental illness and alternately, believing that I was the antichrist. For the past four or five years, or so, I’ve believed I’m the antichrist, and I don’t expect that to change. Am I crazy? Only time will tell. Regardless, my struggles will likely remain private and my accusations against Barack Obama and, more importantly, the Universe, will be ignored.
At the time of this posting, it doesn’t look like Trump will win. I don’t know how to react to that.
Doubts and Questions 